1. What are Voltage, Current and Resistance? (Ohm's Law)
    In my favourite analogy, voltage is water pressure and current is the amount of water that flows through a pipe per second. Resistance is the inverse of the diameter of a pipe. A narrow pipe has a high resistance, a fat pipe has low resistance. Current flows from a point with higher voltage to a point with lower voltage, and the rate of flow (the current) is determined by the resistance between the two points (the diameter of the pipe).
    Ohm's Law states that the current (I) is proportional to the voltage difference (U) between the two points and the resistance (R) of the wire connecting them: I = U / R or U = I * R
    Here is a very comprehensive basic electronics guide from the making things people.
  2. How does the voltage and current behave in a mesh of cables and components? (Kirchhoff's Law)
    Kirchhoff's Current Law & Kirchhoff's Voltage Law// If anybody wants to throw a shot at this, please go ahead, it's a wiki.
  3. Is niels really that big of a jerk?
    Yes, it is incredible we know, but yes. What an asshole.
    No, he just got a dirty mind, and is not shamed of sharing.
  4. What's that about Dirk and his incredible crazy latex pants?
    Those pants of Dirk are actually the biggest secret of meta. The rumour is that he grows incredible powers when wearing them, like soldering 0402 smd parts while cycling across Dam square, or programming flawless assembler code that rhymes straight from his head.
    The pants are actually originated on the mailinglist in this thread.